Scrambled?..

So many things I want to write about..

but when I try to put them down, the words are coming out all wrong, scrambled, twisted and meaningless, thought they had manifested themselves in my head fairly clearly just a minute ago.

Either the language has grown tired of me, or I'm turning into such a disoriented and confused fool.

I wish there was a way to save the thoughts I'm having while swimming, walking, sleeping. I wish there was some kind of tool, a save button. It would have made this task that much easier.

Then again, where would be the fun in that?...

Haunted

Flood, washing all sense away.

Thoughts in a snarl. Emotions in an uproar.

Haunted by the non-existence of a ghost. Who’s there? Me, only me.

Staring. At nothing in particular, seeing everything, perhaps for the first time.

Caught in that whirl, you thought you wouldn’t be able to swim, but you can, you can.

It’s surprising what you can easily do once you give it a try.

Counting down. Three, two, one. Ha, I’m airborne.

What caused this? There’s no cause, no reason.

No, no, there’s always a reason. If only you admit to it.

The change you sought is here.

Three, two, one. Here goes nothing…

(that’ll teach me to listen to Trevor Morris at midnight)

Artistic

Because I can't help it.

Because I just have to.

Because it's the only way I can ever be.

Yes!

Change everything I am
And everything I ever was

My number has been called


Best, I've got to be the best
I've got to change the world
And use this chance to be heard

My time is now...

Pleasurist

I want to stand tall, upright against the wind, feel its soft caress on my arms, my face, my hair, legs firm, the burning sand under my feet, dip my toes in it, smile as it tickles.

I want to lie down on the beach, let the warm sun sink in every pore, fill my eyes, saturate my existence, the brine of the sea cooling off the scorch.

Dive in the blue depths, hold my breath and be one with their creatures, feel them all around me as I whirl and dive deeper still.

I want to raise my hands towards the sky under the pouring rain, dance with the thunder, be liberated.

Watch the sunset, shroud myself in its burning colors, bathe in the moonlight and sing to the stars.

I want to sink in your arms, muzzle you, dip my face in your neck, your hair, breathe you in, marvel at the soft sound of my name on your lips.

Feel the texture of your skin, the beating of your heart under the palm of my hand, luxuriate in the sensation of your touch, savor the moment.

Miss you and exult in the joy of our reunion...

Look deep in your eyes and call them home.

I want to taste everything delicious, smell everything enticing, feel everything sensational, see all things exquisite.

I want to laugh until my legs can’t hold me, cry until my eyes can’t see.

Run like the wind and fly amidst the clouds,

I want to dream and have the dream find me

Fight until my fingers bleed and celebrate the victory

I want to take pleasure out of every ticking of the clock

Feel you, myself, feel everything

Suck the very succulence of life.

Blue

Floating flat on my back, limbs loose, eyes closed, ears submerged

The soft caress of the sun and wind and little ripples of the surface on my skin

Letting the soft wave carry me were it may

The hollow underwater sounds are mesmerizing...

hypnotized, in a trance...

I open my eyes to the blue. Everything is blue, it surrounds me, it fills my sight from every direction. I sink in blue. Get totally lost in it.

Blue world. Fresh. New.

Sleepless

Sleepless.

Thinking about the eyes.

Is there anything more beautiful than looking into a man's eyes?

Yes.

Looking into his eyes while lying in his arms.



I want to talk, write, find an adequate way of expression.

Tonight, I have none.